A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok lets... wait.. wtf I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -19

sorry son your nanas been put down

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops