What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Q: what did the black man say after the white man said knock knock A: who's there

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops