What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

George Bush.

Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...