How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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