Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Oh

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Arron Glass

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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