Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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What do you call a kid without brothers or sisters What? a chinese Boy!!!!!!! lol ;)

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Q: Why did Megan Fox cross the road? A: Because she was running from a giant Decepticon!!! Why else!!!???

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am i invited to party? no

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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