A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

Justin Bieber.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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