Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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