What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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ugvvvvvv

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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