How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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