*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

69 :)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yes... that's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops