What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What's the deal with brown?

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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