Your mom is fat

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Hello.

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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