How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -22

After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You Obviously Lack Originiality YOLO.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

David Silberberg is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

thumb_up thumb_down -24

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whoa there

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

thumb_up thumb_down -24

three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops