What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops