How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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Nippies

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

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What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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