- Anti Joke

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.