You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's a joke? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I became a WoMan, no, its a nice subject, I do not mind at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your face

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops