Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

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On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

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Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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Hi

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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