A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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hey

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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James Patrick Campbell

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops