Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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