why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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Trump will make America great again.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops