Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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VAGINA.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

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Waseem is a hard worker.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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