So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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smell the vitamin C

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There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

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Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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