Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

You suck big fat slobber

Whats brown and smells bad poo

Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

What do you call a Jewish cop? Officer.

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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