To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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