Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

A bar walks into a man

What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

once upon a time, it snowed

Your momma's so old she might die soon.