A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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69

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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The Bible

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Why is your face? Because.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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