What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

^that joke's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What never seems to get old? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the Black man cross the street? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -181

Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -187

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

?"what's up" "A preposition"

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops