Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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400 asian people walked in a bar

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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385

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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