Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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Yo mama is so fat!

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Apple.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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