you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Hey

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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