What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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British Dentistry

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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