I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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colby doesnt shave

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Poop

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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