If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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why did Mary fall off the swing? cuz she had no arms ------------------- knock,knock who's there? not Mary

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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