A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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What is next?

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his brother im dying of leukemia.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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i like tits

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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