Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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1234 5

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i love huge wieners.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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