Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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i love antijokes

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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Blarg

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Hey, Max!!

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Canida

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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