Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Benevolent villain.

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Hi colton

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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