Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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Benevolent villain.

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Hello

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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Small titties.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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