A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Women's rights

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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What is Jason? Black.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy There's the kitchen Sandwich maybe?

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why did the woman die Because she was old

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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