some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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I love Ciara!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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GooglePlus.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Goat balls.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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Noah is Smart.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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