The Colts this year.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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