Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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TIMMY

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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Happy Monday!

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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What's the worst part about anti jokes? They get boring after a while

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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