Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Hi

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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