There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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