where can you find a monkey, a blond, and a bear? the zoo.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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a

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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