What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Got milk? No.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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what the hell happened to your face

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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