Got milk? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a joke and an anti joke Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sarah Palin

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops