Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +177

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Tim tebow is the anti christ

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

thumb_up thumb_down -103

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops